8 negative effects comparison has on you and your relationship
Hey guys, today we would be looking at the negative effects and reasons why you should never compare yourself or your relationship with that of others.
It is not uncommon to find people comparing themselves or their relationships with that of others just because they feel the man or lady next door seem to have it all figured out or seem to be in a perfect relationship.
Well, I believe in my article “how to find love” I stated highlighted the fact that no relationship is perfect and also in my article “you are unique” I also spoke about how people only show us what they want us to see and oftentimes you might eventually realize that your relationship might even be better than theirs.
Reminds me of a lovely couple I use to admire and feel oh! their love and cooperation is superb until hell let loose and things I knew not about them started coming out in the open. Well to cut the long story short, they got divorced. But they seemed all perfect to us watching at the sidelines.
One could be in a relationship and feel they have the worst situation. There are no doubts that sometimes a little comparison could pose as a motivation to do better and probably also improve your relationship if both parties are willing to make it work but not the kind of comparison that would involve you always talking down on belittling yourself or partner.
You need to understand that what works in one relationship might not work for another. There are no rules per se. The world has made it so easy for us to get so lost in other people’s life while feeling grumpy about ours or feeling as though we are in a relationship not worth holding onto.
You find yourself using someone else’s life or relationship as a yardstick for measuring the progress in your life and relationship. This often leads to ungratefulness. It leads to you not appreciating Even the little lovely things in your life and relationship. How do I mean?
Take, for instance, your boo buys you a wristwatch; you would probably feel all happy until you hear Kimberly’s boo bought her a car. And you start feeling as though Kimberly’s boo loves her more than yours and if only yours could just do better. Hence, Ungratefulness.
Why not face your own life and relationship. Always bear in mind that:
A rose smells nicer than a tomato does not mean it will make a sweeter stew
8 Negative Effects comparison has on you and your relationship
These comparisons are not healthy and often have negative effects on you or your relationship and some of these include:
Loss of Uniqueness
This one is majorly for you and not necessarily your relationship. When you constantly compare yourself, you would find yourself trying to always fit in when you were born to stand out.
You’d find yourself trying to always impress and make yourself or your relationship seem the way it isn’t to the public. Eventually, you lose yourself trying to be who you are not. You lose your uniqueness.
Like I mentioned earlier, it is not healthy at all. It can go the extra length to affect your mental and psychological health leaving you depressed.
You find yourself being unhappy wishing you had the life of someone else or your relationship was like that of those you see online and all. Eventually makes you unhappy and unsatisfied in your relationship.
Not only could unnecessary comparison cause you to have low self-esteem, but it could also tamper with the self-esteem of your partner making them feel they are lacking and are not just good enough for you.
This could go as far as actually destroying your relationship in ways you know not because your self-esteem and self-worth is one that shouldn’t be compromised in a relationship.
Constant comparison brings about all sort of doubts. You begin to doubt yourself and doubt your relationship. It sets in doubts which could make you feel like you are not enough or good enough. These doubts could also make you end up destroying a beautiful relationship.
Lack of trust and security
Depending on what you are comparing, it could begin to eliminate the trust in your relationship. The moment your partner starts feeling you wish they were someone else.
The worst would probably be comparing them to your ex’s. Even if your ex was better, you should never rub it on their face except you want to go and date your ex.
It could bring about insecurity and lack of trust. There are some partner’s that wouldn’t even condone it. They could break it off with you and tell you to go and be with the person you are always comparing them with since you like them so much.
It could lead to cheating. Constant comparison can push you or your partner to cheat. You would find yourself not being satisfied in your relationship.
From research, while men can cheat even while satisfied, women, on the other hand, are slightly different. emotional unsatisfaction happens to be one of the reasons that can push both men and women to cheat but mostly women.
You would find yourself magnifying your partner’s little faults the slightest chance you get when you compare them to others a lot.
And the moment you start thinking “damn Jeffrey must be enjoying, that his girlfriend’s boobs and ass are so on point. Wish my girlfriend could just get some like hers”
When you constantly start having thoughts like this, there is a great chance that if the opportunity to bang Jeffrey’s girl or a girl like her springs up then you would take it. As we know it all starts with our thoughts.
You weren’t blind when you started dating your girl so why the comparison now?
Comparison can bring about jealousy, not necessarily just in a relationship perse but with self. You could find yourself getting all jealous about someone else’s life and relationship.
Yes, it’s normal to be a little jealous and have certain wishes now and then, moreover, even God is said to be a jealous God.
But some jealousy can be very unhealthy. The extent to which one takes it is what changes the narrative. Constant and Excessive jealousy and envy threads on a different and dangerous path.
If anyone gets where you are going before you, you do not need to be depressed or jealous but rather bear in mind that God wants them to witness your entrance
Waste of time
The time you spend always comparing yourself with someone else is time you are wasting because you could be using that time to make yourself better instead.
Again, never use someone else’s rule to measure your growth. A lot of people fail in life because they are trying to run in another man’s lane.
The next man shouldn’t be your competition rather you should be your competition. You should be comparing who you were yesterday to who you are today making sure you are experiencing growth in your journey. Only that way would you truly move ahead in life.
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