How to Deal With Fear
After getting to know secrets about fear, it’s advisable to know the most effective ways to deal with fear.
Fear is an emotion; emotions are signal, not a conclusion. They are indicators on how you feel about a particular situation or experience. The fact that you feel afraid doesn’t mean you have been defeated. It’s just a way of making you know the situation of things. And also, for you to feel the sense of urgency in dealing with the situation.
You must be wondering if fear really is an emotion and emotions are signals, what then is the information that fear is trying to give?
Fearful emotions exist in different levels; from low levels of concern and apprehension to intense worry, anxiety, fright, and even terror. Fear serves a purpose, and its message is simple.
Here’s the big secret, fear is simply the anticipation that something that’s going to happen soon needs to be prepared for. The trick is to either prepare to cope with the situation, or to do something to change it. The tragedy is that most people either try to deny their fear, or they wallow in it. Neither of these approaches is respecting the message that fear is trying to deliver, so it will continue to pursue you as it tries to get its message across. You don’t want to surrender to fear and amplify it by starting to think of the worst that could happen, nor do you want to pretend it’s not there.
10 Genuine ways to deal with fear
The message fear is trying to give is so simple so also is the solution to fear simple. Don’t stop reading now as we prepare to unveil the things you must do to deal with fear.
1) Know Yourself & Know your Fears
Try to learn more about your fear or anxiety. You can try setting yourself small, achievable goals for facing your fears. You could carry with you a list of things that help at times when you are likely to become frightened or anxious.
Get specific about what exactly you’re afraid of. Pay attention to the pictures you have in your head about the situation. What is happening in them? What are you really scared of? You can’t deal with what you don’t even know. Some people are just scared, they don’t know what they are scared of. Become an observer of your Innerspace, know yourself and know your fears.
2) Accept yourself but don’t accept your fears
After knowing yourself and knowing your fears, the next step is obviously accepting yourself for who you are but intentionally choosing not to accept your fears. When you accept your fears, you settle and decide to get comfortable with them rather than try overcoming them.
You can come in terms with yourself about your fears and understand your anxiety but knowing them as well as knowing how they affect you doesn’t mean you should embrace them and welcome them or accept them as who you are. You are not your fears. Only when you believe you can overcome them, only then would you be able to
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3) Learning About your fears
Learning about your fears can also help you in dealing with them. How then do you learn about them? You could do this by reading about them & inquiring. Reading a good book on your specific fear and learning more about it can open new doors on how you can get rid of it. You might even be able to seek the opinion of others who might have had or have the same phobia as you. Then, get their opinions on how they tackled it.
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4) Deal with it at its early stage
Remember, the best time to handle an emotion is when you first begin to feel it. It’s much more difficult to interrupt an emotional pattern once it’s full-blown. The idea is to kill the monster while it’s little. Deal with it as soon as the action signal makes itself known, and you’ll find yourself being able to quickly handle virtually any emotion. So always keep in mind that the earlier you deal with your fears, the better. Else, it could get the best of you.
5) Always remind yourself of previous fears you overcame
Most likely you must have had fears that you probably didn’t want to face but were forced to and luckily you overcame it. In the process of dealing with your fears in the early stage, you could use these previous experiences as templates and hope to get through the present and future. Always dwell on the brighter memories rather than the bad ones. And with this, you can always remind yourself that if you could do it before, you can do it again.
6) Push yourself & do it more
Always learn to remind yourself that every time you don’t allow fear to keep you from doing something that scares you, then you are making yourself stronger and less likely to let the next fear attack stop you. If you are afraid of flying, why not try flying more if you can. Because the more you do, the less it scares you.
We would all agree that most of our fears are things that at some point or the other we might still be forced to face. So why not just get accustomed to it now than later because it’s always better now than later. The more we always remind ourselves of this, we would always be more willing to give it a try. Push yourself much more with this daily i.e handling your fears and facing it head-on
7) Always face it
It is human nature to avoid emotions that scare us. Who wants to walk directly into what promises to be a painful experience? By continually avoiding looking at the ‘boogeyman’ within, you become hostage to the monster.
Moreover, how long do you think you can hide and shy away from your fears? forever? Certainly not. So why not just face it. Mind you, facing your fears here doesn’t involve going into the lion’s Den because you are scared of lions. Hey, Daniel didn’t leave his house to go and have some good time with the lions inside their Den(lol).
Facing your fears here means if you know you are scared of public speaking then try to accept speaking more often. Only then would you slowly get used to it as well as overcome it. Most times when I fear things like this I lowkey tell myself “what’s the worse thing that can happen after all? if it happens then fine” so I am prepared for the worst even while hoping for the best.
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Fears are just fears that are created by our imagination to make reality seem scarier than it is. When you take action and face your fears, they become weaker.
8) Deflate your worst fears with humour
Why not trying having a little sense of humour and joking about those things you’re scared about. When you do, you tend to reduce the fear you have for them.
For instance, what are some ridiculous worst-case scenarios that might happen if you accept an invitation to deliver a speech to a large crowd? ‘I might pee in my pants at the podium’, ‘I will be arrested for giving the worst speech in history’ and before you give the speech you could probably announce to the crowd that they should please not arrest you. People would probably laugh and you would most likely reduce your tension and be more at ease. Same applies to other scenarios you might find yourself in.
life is too short to be too scared and too serious. Why not live, love and laugh it off – DollyMchottney
9) Mastering Calmness
Mastering the art of being calm could help to keep you in a relaxed state in most situations. Learning to be relaxed and calm helps us a great deal in moments of anxiety when we can barely think. But when calm we are able to think better in order to proffer a solution.
Learning relaxation techniques can help you with the mental and physical feelings of fear. Also, it can help just to drop your shoulders and breathe deeply.
Just as “With pessimism comes limitation“, so also “With Negativity comes fear”
So if our negativity can increase our anxiety, what do you think our positivity would do? The opposite, right? Instead of thinking of the worse that your fear could result to, why not think of the best and be motivated by your optimism.
Using the same public speaking as an example. I earlier said most times I usually whisper what’s the worst thing that could happen? people would laugh at me? so? would I die? But then look on the brighter side. What’s the best that could happen? for this, isn’t it worth a try? Then Go for it.
Even if it doesn’t go as planned or as you might have anticipated, still be glad and applaud yourself for trying. When you realize that failure is not the end of the world, you become free and will be able to deal with and overcome your fears.
Review what you were feeling fearful about and evaluate what you must do to prepare yourself mentally. Figure out what actions you need to take to deal with the situation in the best possible way. Sometimes we’ve done all the preparation we could for something; there’s nothing else we can do—but we still sit around in fear. This is the point when you must use the antidote to fear: you must make a decision to have faith, knowing you’ve done all you can to prepare for whatever you’re fearing, and that most fears in life rarely come to fruition. (Anthony Robbins)
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