11 proven ways to rekindle the spark and romance in a relationship
If you tell ask 10 people to give you a story of how their relationship is, you’ll find out that almost all 10 will go through similar path.
It all starts with a boy and girl who thinks the sun will not rise in the east if they don’t get to be together.
There is always something new to talk about each other. Both parties can’t get enough of each other. This is how the beginning stage of all relationships are.
We feel it will always remain this way with “happily ever after”, “together forever” being the ultimate goal.
The spark is there, the romance is there and every other thing necessary for a relationship to be tagged a perfect one.
With time things start changing. You notice the spark that was once present has started fading away. Don’t sweat it, we have all been there.
How you handle this stage determines if your relationship will go back to be that wonderful romantic one or will turn into a full blown platonic relationship.
Trust me, if you don’t do anything about it, the little spark in the relationship will fizzle out and you and your spouse will be nothing more than roommates with mere platonic love.
However, if this is not your desire for your relationship, you have to put in the work to make sure the romance and emotional connection is rekindled.
No successful and happy relationship happen base on luck, it happens as a result of commitment and constant hard work from both parties involved.
Whether you are in a long term relationship, newlywed or married for years now, rekindling the romance and spark in your relationship can be made possible if you follow these 11 tested and trusted ways.
Find the missing link
The very first step in rekindling the spark and romance in a relationship is finding out where it all went wrong.
Acknowledge the areas where you and your spouse are communicating a lack of acceptance.
This lack of acceptance might only be one form of fear or another of the partner. That’s why it’s good couples cultivate the habit of having good communication skills.
Together, define these areas where you and your partner feel there is a lack of acceptance within the relationship and deal with it.
This is the very first step of getting than spark and romance that is missing in your relationship.
Remember the fun times
All relationship started as a happy and romantic one. Do you remember what it was like when you newly met your partner?
The first few months where all you think and do was to please your better half. That’s what a romantic relationship looks like and how it should always be.
Anything you feel like this spark is fading away, start it all over again.
By this, I mean you should do those spontaneous things that always made you guys happy when you got to know each other.
If you can reinvent one or more of those moments, do it. Remembering the good times is a great way to remind you that the spark was once there and can still be there.
Once you get stuck in a relationship, just go back to the beginning and start all over again.
Schedule a date night
Date nights are not only for people dating or newlywed, it’s for any one in any form of romantic relationship.
The moment you realize the spark in your relationship is diming, a date night will go a long way to reigniting the spark and romance.
You don’t always have to go to a five-star restaurant or a cinema to have a date night. Date nights can be done at the comfort of your home.
The whole idea is that you and your spouse will create a romantic environment which will rekindle the emotional attachment you once had.
In the article “25 perfect indoor stay at home date night ideas for couples” you’ll see the best stay at home date night ideas for couples. This will help rekindle the romance in your relationship.
Do something new and crazy
Studies found out that couples who do spontaneous and arousing things together felt better about their relationships than those who stick with boring routine activities.
It’s amazing what getting out of your normal routine and pushing your comfort boundaries will do for your love life romantically.
The simple trick here is to pick something fun and spontaneous. Something not just pleasant but exciting. Ride a roller coaster. Visit a far-flung destination.
Another option is to get competitive in an healthy way. When you’re physically competing and experiencing new things together, dopamine levels soar, which replicate those early butterflies and gets you excited.
Try one on one activities like tennis, racquetball, skiing, hiking, or fishing.
Plan secret dates for each other
This always turns out romantic. It’s always nice to be thought of, and it also feels good to do something nice for your partner.
This is permitted to go into your monthly routines. Every month, each person take turns to plan a secret date for the other person.
The planner will be the one in charge. You get to decide the clothes, the venue and the meal. To make things easier, just decide the theme for the date.
The surprise of the date adds desire and mystery. This in turn ignites a spark in that relationship of yours and makes things romantic.
Being in charge also means you don’t have to mess things up. Do things you both connect and relate with for the spark and connection to be there.
For example, if you hate football and your partner is obsessed, don’t plan to take them to the bar to watch a game. You’ll be grumbling the whole time.
Instead, you identify your partner’s strength and pair it with yours so you don’t end up putting off the little spark rather than reigniting it.
For example, if you love to learn, and your partner is creative, take a painting class together (and bring some wine).
Be physical to help intimacy grow
When things are getting tough and we’re looking for how to rekindle a relationship, many of us find it difficult to get intimate with our partner.
This often does more harm than good in the relationship. By harm, I mean it makes things tougher for both parties and make the relationship less romantic.
If you find yourself being less physical with your spouse to punish them or avoiding sex for reason(s) best known to you, you need to address that immediately.
The romantic part of a relationship is dead when one or both of you are not able to show physical affection.
Affectionate physical contact, be it sexual or not, gives you the natural high your body’s hormones produce and can help you get into the right frame of mind to rekindle love.
Frequently touch your partner as this will help you to redevelop closeness and intimacy.
Give that one you love and desire a reassuring caress, a hug or just a squeeze of the hand that says “I am never letting you go”.
Those small moments mean a lot and do go a long way to bringing back the spark lost in a relationship.
All this is not to say what really matter are the non sexual touches. Of course, sex is also very important in a relationship.
Understanding your sexual energy as well as that of your partner is key to learning how to rekindle the romance in that soon to be platonic relationship of yours.
If sexual intimacy is becoming less and less frequent, you need to take action now before it becomes an insurmountable problem.
Be curious about your partner
What makes dating and relationship sweeter and more fun in the beginning stage is the curiosity about our partner.
When you started dating your partner, you were intensely curious about everything that had to do with them.
You wanted to know every single detail about them at every point in time. Do you still act in that manner? If not, it’s necessary you turn a new leaf for your relationship to take a positive turn in the romantic direction.
When you have your partner in mind, you tend to ask questions to know how they feel and practice deep listening when they answer.
It goes beyond asking them how their night was and what they will like for lunch. Find out personal things about them you think they will only share if there is an ear to listen.
When your curiosity for your partner increases, the romance in your relationship will follow a similar direction.
Use words of affirmation
As much as physical touch and thoughtfulness are keys to romance in a relationship, so are your words.
Your words have an incredible power in your relationship more than you can imagine. People who are looking to rekindle that spark in their relationship often forgets the words they might have being using on their partner might be harming them.
You might be wondering how this can help your relationship probably because you have not tried it yet but I’m here to tell you that words are powerful.
Like I mentioned earlier, these words can be used for healing or destruction. You need to try them in your relationship for a positive impact.
Instead of nagging and quarrelling all the time with your spouse, why don’t you try using words of affirmation to uplift your spouse?
Even if it’s not your spouse’s love language, it still pays to tell your partner some really nice things.
Both gender love receiving compliments even though some people like hiding it. However, don’t overuse it, so it doesn’t lose it effectiveness.
Call your spouse randomly during the day and reassure him/her just how much you are in love with the person. Also, do well to send romantic messages when you are apart.
Want to know what words of affirmation looks like? See: 60 Daily Affirmations for self care that would boost your mental health
Couples who have different schedules will most likely have difficulties doing this. However, it’s something couples need to try out for themselves.
Bathing together is a very easy way for couples to reconnect intimately.
When you get into the shower or the bath tub, don’t rush it. Take your time and scrub each other’s body. Enjoy the feeling and have fun playing with water.
When you bathe together, there’s a great possibility that you’ll end up making passionate love that will help renew some intimacy in the relationship.
Reasons being that there is something romantic about a freshly washed body.
If for any reason, the love life in your relationship is getting stagnant, try bathing with your spouse when you both are less busy and see where it leads.
Be rest assured, it will lead to a spark in romance again.
Try new styles in the bedroom
The bedroom is the place that decides the fate of romance in a relationship.
Once everything goes well in the bedroom at night, be rest assured that the relationship is heading to the right direction.
However, doing the same thing over and over again can lead to stagnation in the bedroom and the relationship at large. Most times, it’s compulsory to do something new and exciting in the intimacy department.
If you’ve been using just a few position for making passionate love, experiment with more passionate positions with your spouse and see the outcome.
Also, if there are secret fantasies that you might want to explore, do well to get your spouse on board. He might end up being receptive to these ideas.
It’s also paramount you don’t keep it in the bedroom every time. You can try different locations instead of sticking to the bedroom everything love making is about to go down.
There are other places in the house that make intercourse with your spouse more pleasurable. So, Endeavour to try new things in the intimacy department as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.
Intimacy and spark in a relationship often stays when couples spend a lot of time together doing fun things.
Travelling with your spouse alone is another great way to spend a lot of alone time with your partner and reignite the spark in your marriage.
This will lead you guys to visiting new places and experiencing new adventures which will end up increasing the bond between you guys.
It’s beneficial to plan a romantic vacation at least 3 times a year (one for each quarter) to reconnect and find new ways to love each other.
The goal is not to travel to your dream city (Paris, Rome etc.) if you cannot afford it, but to spend a lot of time together away from home.
It’s for the best you travel by road. This can help foster great communication, team cooperation and a more intimate relationship.
This will help you learn and do new things you don’t normally do and see firsthand the lifestyle of other people that might be cool to emulate.
That’s it guys. Want to rekindle the spark in your relationship? Want the romance in your relationship back? Then be rest assured that this 11 proven ways will do the trick. If there are other ways you think can help reignite the spark of romance in a marriage, do well to leave it in the comment section below.
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