Most of us feel insecure at certain points in our lives, it’s normal as long as you are human.
But, personal insecurities and comparison in a relationship can drive a wedge between you and your partner.
“Everyone always brings their insecurities into their relationship”
It hence distorts your view in many aspects of life.
You feel you’re not worthy of love, yeah that’s one major form of insecurities, “the tyranny of enough”.
It holds you to unrealistic standards.
You want to deal with these insecurities, this article is just what you need.
Below are steps to overcoming insecurities.
7 EFFECTIVE WAYS TO DEAL WITH INSECURITY IN A RELATIONSHIP
1. CULTIVATE CONFIDENCE:
Low self-esteem can create a wide range of projected insecurities in a relationship.
Now the best antidote to overcoming self-doubt is building your confidence.
Confidence might be a difficult concept to pin down, but you can build your self-belief, self-esteem, and optimism. In doing so you are cultivating confidence.
Take more time focusing on what you think about yourself instead of what others think about you.
Pay more attention to the things you’re confident about, if sometimes your insecurities make you forget, take a journal, think about the things you are that elevate your self-confidence.
It can be a day-to-day activity, cause you can always go back and reflect on it.
Always stay in your comfort zone, there you’ll do better.
2. PRACTICE SELF-LOVE:
This is just like the first but they are so many things to it, so I decided to outline this separately.
It is obvious to us that to find self-confidence you need to start with self-love.
What makes you think you can manage a relationship when you hate yourself, you hate your job, you hate your look, you hate your choices everything about you is never good enough to you.
Here’s a thing, you can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t share a love you don’t have.
If you want that potential relationship to have a future, love who you are.
Stop ruminating over your failures. In practicing love you think less of your insecurities.
If this is still hard for you, take a moment to sit. Sit quietly and think of something you love about you, not your partner or relationship, you.
Write them out in a journal. Make sure you don’t stop till it is an unlimited list. Make yourself a living journal.
This practice will not only grow the feeling of love and compassion for oneself but also builds confidence and trust in a relationship.
3. LET GO OF SELF BLAME:
Do you know it’s so easy for one to pass judgments to oneself?
This habit can create room for one’s insecurities to reinforce.
Insecurities don’t just pop up; your experience with your ex, even your current partner can trigger it.
You couldn’t control all of those, other people, focus on what you can control, letting go of self-blame and bashing.
Yeah, the feeling might seem to be coming from you, but I want you to know it’s an external presence, so you can create a gap between you and your feelings.
4. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS:
The most common form of insecurities people bring into a relationship is the feeling that they’re not enough.
But you can’t feel you are not enough if you have no one to compare yourself to.
The truth is social media platform makes it all so easy to trigger one’s insecurities and self-doubt, you find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s.
You start feeling less of yourself.
You want to get rid of this feeling, try taking a break from all social media sites.
It’s an easy way to prevent yourself from comparing yourself with someone’s highlight heel.
It gives you time to know what you need and want.
Sometimes this feeling can come from comparing yourself to your partner’s ex or friends.
Look they left their ex to be with you. You are the one in the relationship, make the best of it rather than worry over nothing
5. TALK TO YOUR PARTNER:
Communication is the key to every area of one’s life especially when it has to do with insecurities in a relationship.
Stop waiting for telepathy to take place, your partner is not a mind reader, no matter how synced you are in a relationship.
In dealing with insecurity in a relationship you have to communicate issues with your partner effectively.
“A safe emotional space where you can discuss worries in a direct but gentle way creates a foundation for a loving, trusting relationship”
Whether or not your partner triggers your insecurity, relating matters to them is crucial, it is more important to get it out to the open if they are the ones who invigorated it.
Don’t hold it back cause one day it’s going to explode and the results won’t be pretty.
Be super transparent about what you’re feeling and why.
This would create this strong connection between you and cement a solid foundation of trust, true friendship, and love.
6. EMBRACE YOUR INSECURITIES:
Embrace your insecurity as being human. It’s normal to feel and see things where they are not.
This doesn’t mean you give way for these feelings to control how you see yourself.
If you know it’s normal, you wouldn’t prioritize it over your relationship, cause you know how you should be spending more time on what matters.
You start seeing in you what your partner sees in you.
Are Still overthinking yourself, stop it, you’re only making those negative attributes seem more prevalent and important than they are, at the same time draining your energy. Remember they’re not true of you.
Take this to heart: What stands as normal for everyone can not be what defines you.
7. TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL:
Sometimes your issue can not be sorted by just you and your very supportive partner.
You come to realize that your insecurities are deeply rooted in past traumas, heartbreak, or childhood experience.
Reach out to a therapist, they might just be what, or rather who you need to lighten things up.
You can easily lose your insecurities when your relationship is built on communication, commitment, love, and respect.
Let the world see you, the real you. It will interest you to know that when people love you despite they know about your flaws and weaknesses, your confidence is developed without you even trying to cultivate it.