No one can be completely confident and certain about their life choices.
These moments of inadequacy can lead us to feel insecure about who we are, what we do, what we wear, how we talk, actions we take, etc.
Everyone has their experiences of feeling insecure sometimes.
Some people tend to face more insecurities than others in a matter of intensity and frequency. This becomes far more noticeable in relationships when emotions are involved.
Sometimes, we end up feeling drained as a result of our partner’s constant projection about our insecurities wearing us out.
It might be the other way round but we can’t tell cause we’re not sure what caused them in the first place.
You feel your relationship has a potential future but the main obstacle putting it all at risk are your insecurities.
Whether it’s coming from you or your partner, finding the root cause of your insecurities will go a long way to saving said relationship.
Below are five causes of insecurities in relationships that you shouldn’t ignore.
5 MAJOR CAUSES OF INSECURITIES IN A RELATIONSHIP
1. LOW SELF-ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE:
“People with low self-esteem are more likely to sabotage themselves when something good happens to them”
The core cause of insecurities in an individual is a lack of esteem, self-love, and confidence.
If you’re already feeling uncertain about everything, literally nearly every aspect of your life. why should you nurse a belief that you can be any different in your relationship?
Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence typically link back to a person’s upbringing(mostly one’s environment).
Maybe you didn’t have or felt loved while growing up. These issues if left unresolved might phase into one’s adulthood.
This feeling is enough to make you scared of everything, you’re not sure you’re good enough or pretty enough. You’re not sure you’re doing it right.
Being with someone is beyond sharing. It also involves sharing strength, the stronger you both are together, the stronger your relationship.
2. PAST EXPERIENCES:
What you’ve had to go through before either in past relationships or your life choices affects you.
Most of us feel insecure sometimes, but some of us feel insecure all the time.
It might be as a result of a traumatic event, a crisis such as loss, bankruptcy, frequent disappointment, failure or rejection, etc, social anxiety, and many others.
All these experiences can cause anxiety and insecurity.
In most cases, it’s what you suffered from giving your heart out before.
You went through an unforgettable heartbreak, now you’re afraid to trust, to love, to give into that relationship.
You’re scared of going through it all over again. This might again affect your partner and your well-being thus crushing your ongoing relationship
3. CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT:
This goes a long way in affecting a person’s life. So many people had quite an experience growing up.
They’re older yet can’t stop re-living under the conditioning they grew up in.
It might be from continuous bullying while growing up, note this doesn’t always happen in school. Might be at home, within your environment.
You receive teases about how you look, how you dress, the family you’re from. This is the major cause of low self-esteem.
Allowing what you grew up to believe overwhelm you will crush your relationship. not only that, it might make you a slave to that damaging experience.
4. LIFE ACHIEVEMENTS:
Are you easily or rather always threatened by other people’s success? That’s one deep question to ask yourself.
How do you feel when you see or hear about the success of others, how do you feel about your life at that time?.
One simple truth is, some people have this mixed emotion. Sometimes it brings joy especially when the news is coming from people closest to you.
Sometimes it brings up this feeling of jealousy and insecurities, even inferiority when someone accomplishes or experiences something you want and/ or worry that you can’t or won’t.
Don’t be surprised you possess such a habit even with your partner, they even see you get like that with other people.
In this world, it’s cultural to be competitive but to be so obsessive that you become irrational, That my friend is unhealthy.
It is unhealthy even for a single person not to speak of two people from a two distinct world.
5. PERSONAL LIFE FULFILMENT(LACK THEREOF):
As two distinct individuals before finding each other, both of you are going to have unique aspects of yourself that are going to make you.
It can be your hobbies, careers, goals, views, all these factors are tailored in aspects of who you are that not only create a personal identity but provides a sense of fulfillment.
Many people lose their individual identify after getting into a relationship, hence they lose their life fulfillment. As a result, they turn to their partner instead, relying on them for the provision of life fulfillment and meaning.
This might not lead to insecurities. but when one partner starts feeling jealous about the other’s reliance not been on him or her. You don’t feel happy your partner’s happiness and fulfillment do not come from you. That is enough to develop insecurities in that relationship.
if you’re constantly doubting your emotions thoughts and behaviors, not only will you project these doubts to your relationship and partner but you start having imprudent thoughts and worries, thus develop more feelings of insecurities.