15 THINGS NARCISSISTS COMMONLY SAY AND REAL MEANING
Hi guys, today on Narcissistic personality disorder, we would be looking at the common things narcissists say a lot.
It is no news that almost all narcissists are patterned alike. This similar pattern can usually also be found in the things they say often.
Often times what these narcissists say and what they mean could be quite different. Sometimes it could just be all part of their scheme.
The phrases that most people use in everyday conversations bear a far different meaning in the context of an abusive relationship with a narcissist.
Here are some of the things they say and what they actually mean most times.
“It’s always all about you!”
Another way they could put this is ‘Everything is not always about you’. This is probably their all Time favourite saying.
It is funny how they are actually so skilful in making things about them but turning around making you feel you’re doing that.
Sometimes this comes up when you ask for simple needs to be met or you are just asking for a common decent behaviour or simple human request.
But suddenly to them, you are making it all about you by simply demanding the bare minimum but when they are the one they expect you to adhere.
They try to make it seem like you are the one making everything about you even when they could just be doing the exact thing
Hey, can we stop talking about you and what you want while we talk about me and what I want? You are not the important one, I am.
“I am sorry you feel that way”
Now as we know there are genuine apologies and there are ingenuine ones. Narcissists are one set of people who have a big problem with apologising.
They don’t like to lose or feel wrong and apologising makes them feel that way. Even when they do apologise, they wouldn’t do it properly or wholeheartedly.
You hear their apology sounding like “I’m sorry if you feel that way” rather than “I’m sorry I made you feel that way”.
You would hear “I’m sorry but…..” They basically say sorry because they feel that’s what you probably want to hear not because they are sorry.
It is often more of a – let’s get this argument over with already so I can continue my abusive behaviour in peace.
It is more of a- I’m not sorry for what I did or sorry you have the emotions that you do. To me, they’re not valid because I am entitled to have mine as well regardless of how you feel.
“You are too sensitive” “It was just a joke”
Another way they could say this is ‘you are overreacting’, ‘Stop being so dramatic’ or ‘you are overly…….’ ‘Can’t you take a joke’ etc.
They intentionally call out on your insecurities while trying to belittle you and disguise it as a joke when you react while following it up with ‘you’re too sensitive’.
Even when You could be having a perfectly normal reaction to an immense amount of bullshit and deep down they probably know this.
But instead of validating, they would rather gaslight you some more so you second-guess yourself and start feeling maybe you’re actually too sensitive or overreacting.
And more so due to their empathic nature narcissist can’t understand why things hit you the way it does and even when they do, they could care less and still feel ‘you don’t have to be so dramatic’.
When they hurt you it doesn’t matter how bad they might have hurt you, they don’t even want to know but they expect you to easily get over it in 15min.
It is worse when they feel you have a good level of confidence. They would try to tear that apart because it threatens them.
You hear them give comments like “you are fine but not that fine”, “you would have been finer if you weren’t short or didn’t have so much acne”.
Sometimes comments like this could be someone trying to be sincere but it’s different when the place it is coming from is simply to put down someone’s esteem.
while deep down they admire you a lot and are hoping you don’t match up to them or even realize your own worth.
I don’t like it when you have feelings, it bothers me. Not only do I know what to do with them but I really don’t care about them.
And also, Why would u think that’s rude when it was just a joke’ -How dare you not laugh at jokes I make at your expense.
I don’t like when you can see through me and know I’m actually trying to mock and throw your insecurities at you, can’t we just laugh it off while you go think about how lame and imperfect you are after.
” I always tell the truth” “I’m telling you the truth for your own good”
Two ways narcissists try to intentionally belittle and demean you is by either doing it disguising it as a joke or doing it disguising it as the truth.
Often times you would hear them say the “you know I am only telling you the truth for your own good” while in reality they are oftentimes just lying for their own good.
Sometimes even when they are telling you the truth the way they would come off jokingly but yet so cold and ruthless about it, it would feel as though they are being blunt but in truth, they actually just want to belittle you
When they say ‘I’m only telling your the truth’ for them it’s – I have to lie and disguise it as the truth to hurt you, the truth is bitter after all isn’t it?
And when they say ‘I always tell the truth’ – in reality for them it’s – whatever I actually say to suit my situation should become the truth because I am always right anyway.
“That isn’t what I meant or I didn’t say that”
This could also be said as “That isn’t what happened” “Stop misquoting me”
Narcissists do or say a lot of things that sound okay in their ears but the moment you try to send it back to them and they realize how cold it might seem hearing it from someone else, they begin to claim they are being misquoted.
Before you know it, they begin to do what they do best and that is- gaslighting. This is a popular tactic among narcissists.
It’s designed to make you feel crazy, and unfortunately, it works in a lot of cases. When a narcissist gaslights you, they will try to rewrite history and insist that your memory is faulty.
When they start sounding like this It means – Yes I said it but after realizing how it sounds coming from you, I wish I didn’t and want to pretend it didn’t happen because I’m Narcissists, one who can change the reality in every given moment.
“It’s not my fault”
Often times this could be followed up with “You’re crazy its all in your head”, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong, I don’t see why I should apologise’.
Just as much as they hate to apologise, they do not like to take responsibility for their actions.
In their eyes, they are perfect and cannot do anything wrong. More so they are always right as far as they are concerned.
So nothing can be their fault and even if they obviously see they are to be blamed, it is still not their fault because they always have a good reason, so it makes no difference.
They are happy to shift the blame onto anyone and everyone else. They will ignore you, become angry, or even accuse you of manipulation.
I hate confrontation and I always have a reason for my actions including the bad ones and because there is a reason it is not my fault and I don’t see why I need to apologise.
“………….But I love you!”
Yes, couples who love each other could have a fight and eventually makeup with an- I love you, but narcissists own case can be a little different.
While in the middle of treating you so horribly or telling you that they are definitely going to leave you or amidst horrendous insults, name-calling, and so much worse …..
You could hear them say ‘….but I love you’.
When this happens it usually feels so crazy, because it is often said when the narcissist is telling you all the things that are wrong with you.
As many people discover, these words hold very little weight when the actions simply don’t match them.
This line for them in moments like this could mean – I have said all I really want to say but let me add I love you at the end to manipulate you.
“So about me”
This also comes in the form of “Yeah well, anyway, enough about your problems…”
As we know narcissists are self-absorbed people. What they have to say is more important that what you have to say.
That is if they even have any level of curiosity concerning what you have to say. Often times when you’re done, their response could be cold and immediately they come alive when it’s their turn to talk.
And that’s because they don’t care about your life – they would much rather talk about what’s happening in their world or something else.
Your narcissistic partner or friend obviously operates under the assumption that they are more important than you. So they are often quick to dismiss your problems.
Enough about you, let’s talk about something else like me. (if not me, I wouldn’t mind something else that isn’t you) I mean why talk about you when we can be talking about me. I mean there Is so much going on in my life you need to hear about, I could care less about what’s going on in your life
“I’m the best” “I’m smarter”
It is no brainer that narcissists are obviously people who feel they are all-knowing. Reasons why you can’t challenge them.
It doesn’t matter whether a narcissist is truly skilled at a particular activity or not – they are still likely to claim they are the best.
It’s worse when they are now even skilled in a field, no matter how well you do, rather than acknowledge you, they would tell you they are better.
They would rather downplay your successes and boost their own egos, even if all they can do is make ridiculous unsubstantiated boasts.
They tend to rate themselves far more than they actually are.
If you can’t see I am the best then you don’t know anything. Or better still even if you know you are good, you must bear in mind that I am better (even though this might not even be true).
“Are you trying to change me?” “change!”
Usually, the prefix of this statement is “This is the way I am” while the suffix is “I’m not changing for anyone”.
Yes, it is a different case when your partner is actually trying to change you and when they are just asking for a bare minimum and nothing that involves changing you as a person.
Narcissists are very fast to hit you with these lines when you call out an attitude of theirs and at the same time also fast to hit you up with “you need to change this and that”.
Often times you could just be calling them out for something slight or simple courtesy and they give the ‘this is the way I am’ attitude
I don’t want to adjust even in the slightest for you. Even if it means saying thank you after a meal, why should I? …..…To them, it feels like you are trying to control them.
Other common Lines
“You’ve already told me this, I’ve heard all these before, why do you keep repeating yourself”
I know you talked about this before and I didn’t listen and I am still not going to listen now, I would still do what I want so just leave me alone.
“You analyze everything, stop analyzing me”
I don’t like to be looked at so hard, I don’t want you to figure me out and most especially my weaknesses.
“You make it impossible to talk to you”
You don’t believe my lies and I seriously hate that.
“That’s in the past, let’s leave it”
Often times this could be like 15min ago, or an hour ago but it becomes in the past.
I don’t understand why you won’t get over the fact that I’m actively abusing you. It was literally 15min ago. Get over it.
“All my ex’s are losers’
First of all, if one person keeps complaining about everybody. Then the constant factor (which is the person) needs to be checked.
Often times narcissists are one to twist the story after a breakup. It is not uncommon to hear them say they are the ones that left when they were left.
They often don’t have anything good to say about their exes because one bad act for them can erase all the good ones.
Anyone who doesn’t think I’m great or rejected me is definitely a loser
They simply use this to pacify themselves.
Mind you, it often depends on the case study and scenario. There are lots of other lines you could find online as narcissistic lines but are lines people use daily without having much in mind or a hidden agenda.
Rushing to the conclusion that someone is narcissistic is not often the best because it begins to change your perspective of everything they do.
At the same time understand there are different kinds of narcissists, you can have some narcissistic traits but not be a full-blown narcissist while on the other hand, you can actually be a narcissist and not even realize it.
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