Disappointment is unavoidable. As long as you have certain expectations, it’s always going to occur. It’s normal.
The fact that things don’t always go the way you planned doesn’t make you the most unfortunate person on Earth. This is something everyone experience. It’s just a part of this world.
Truth is, if your happiness depends solely on things always going right then you will never be happy. This is where disappointment brings about depression and trauma.
It’s a very tricky emotion. An event that can change your life forever. It makes you hate and blame everything around you, every single day you’ve lived.
You say to yourself, “life has been so unfair to me”.
Life can’t be so fair to everyone, you need to have an interesting story of your life, disappointments are one of those things that makes life interesting.
You’re not a failure because things didn’t go as planned. How you react to that situation is what defines you. Below are life-changing tips to help you deal with disappointments.
HOW TO DEAL WITH DISAPPOINTMENT
1.ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE HURT
Repressing such feelings cages you in your emotions. You want that job so badly but you didn’t get it, you failed a test you prepared for, your parents and family members stopped caring for you when you need them the most. All those things hurt.
” Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”.
Admit it to yourself. Tell yourself that you can’t avoid feeling everything that comes with life, including pain, so you’re bound to get hurt at a certain point in your life.
2. KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT THE DISAPPOINTMENT/FAILURE:
It’s not about you, it’s never being about you. Yeah, you might say, I did this, oh if I didn’t choose to go up this path things will be a lot better for me. My circumstances are a result of my decisions.
You are not the disappointment, it happened to you doesn’t mean it is who you are. You failed an interview doesn’t mean you’ll never get a job, you failed a course doesn’t mean you’ll never graduate, your relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean it’s your fault or you’ll never find someone new.
It’s just a thing that occurred in your life, it’s not who is. Don’t let anyone make you feel you are a disappointment or failure.
3. LEARN FROM IT:
Pay attention to this; you’re not the best at making decisions. You did something, you said something, you caused something, you lost something, doesn’t make you the worse either. It’s a part of our life that makes us interesting.
You can’t get better if you haven’t made a mistake. Sometimes disappointment makes you stronger.
Bottom line is, let it be a learning tool for you. Life is going to keep preparing you for life, it’s weird to say but it’s true.
Instead of living with it, learn from it. See yourself getting better and better every day.
4. KNOW THAT DISAPPOINTMENT IS JUST LIKE EVERY TRIAL:
Disappointment is a painful thing to face, so it’s a trial. Like every other trial.
Heroes aren’t born, life makes them. Why they become heroes is because they took that trial and made the best out of it.
Disappointment is like a crazy test you’re not ready for. Guess what, most things in life is a crazy test you’re not prepared for. You’ll always get tired or choose to win.
5. DON’T LOSE FOCUS:
This experience shouldn’t be an excuse to lose focus. If you know what you have ahead of you, you stay on track no matter what.
Don’t ever think of quitting. That’s why anyone with a vision, a set goal needs good foresight. Keep staring at what you placed in front of you.
Remember disappointment is a distraction in disguise. Clear those doubts and move on.
6. TALK WITH SOMEONE POSITIVE
If sharing helps you, do it. Sometimes, it’s not a situation you can deal with alone. Talk to someone. Not just anyone, but someone positive, one who sees ahead, an optimist, a friend and comforter (you need it), someone with experience. Such one will help you deal with the feeling.
7. BEWARE OF PERFECTIONISM (DON’T ALWAYS EXPECT PERFECTION)
Heartbreak is a result of expectations and assumptions. Don’t come up with irrational beliefs that things should always go perfectly (as planned).
Don’t be afraid of failing, disapproval, or making mistakes. Perfectionists don’t adjust their expectations, they believe their perfection is what makes them acceptable.
Such unrealistic expectations can lead to mental disorders. If such a person doesn’t get what he or she wants, I don’t need to tell you what that means.
I’m not asking you not to have expectations, expect the unexpected.
Life will always prepare you for things that never happen. Anxiety won’t help you get things done.
Yeah! you know things will work out in the end, you are so ready, either way, be prepared for any outcome, it helps you deal with negative results easier and faster.
8. TAKE A BREAK
This always helps. For instance, you’re dating someone who ends up being a jerk. Instead of sitting in the bizarre feeling. Go on a vacation. Give yourself a great time of pampering.
Your project failed in the end, take a break from it. You need time to rest and think of a way forward.
Believe that the next time you try it’ll be better. That gives you a big relief even when you are still trying to deal with the disappointment.
9. MAKE PLANS TO MOVE ON:
Just because things didn’t work out as planned doesn’t mean you still can’t shoot for the moon.
Giving yourself something to strive for is an important part of recovering from disappointment. Place a goal ahead of you, keeping your eyes on it.
10. WORK ON YOUR SELF ESTEEM:
Self-esteem is about how you value yourself. Never look down on yourself and what you can be able to do.
Self-esteem is not about your ability. It shouldn’t rely on the perception people have towards you. Don’t let one single experience change how you see yourself.
11.DELIBERATELY GIVE YOURSELF SOME CREDIT:
Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have to go. Concentrate on recognizing how far you’ve come in your efforts.
You need a positive mindset to motivate yourself. The most important thing we can do for our happiness and success is to give ourselves some credit.
Appreciate where you are now, it doesn’t mean you’ve become complacent or stop you from striving for improvements.
It’s okay to be grateful for everything you’ve become so far.
Don’t lower your standards but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way.