When you fall in love, you dream of a beautiful life. But not always do dreams come true as they can turn out to be your nightmares. Certain difficulties like financial problems, parenting, or health issues can be faced together if the relationship with your partner is strong; but if the relationship itself is a problem, how do you recognize and solve the problem?
What Is A Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is one that is not favourable to you or your partner. It makes you feel suffocated, helpless and drained out. When a relationship turns out to be unhealthy and in-conducive to healthy living, you need to understand that toxicity has seeped into it. Toxicity need not be experienced right from the beginning of the relationship.
In fact, your relationship might begin with all the right feelings from either side. But those feelings might wade and turn toxic eventually. When you are well into your relationship, you know you need to walk halfway through while your partner covers the other half. However, you should not compromise on being treated with respect, and being able to share your needs with your partner.
So how do you know that compromise is turning into Passive-aggressiveness? People with passive-aggressive behaviour avoid direct conflict but express their anger indirectly through sulking, procrastination, withdrawal, and stubbornness. This behaviour pattern gradually destroys the relationship. A toxic relationship can be the result of certain negative characteristics in you or your partner.
Traits/ Habits That Could Lead To Toxic Relationships
Toxicity can happen at any stage in a relationship. But if you or your partner have any of these traits, your relationship will likely face hardships much earlier.
Control freak
This person wants to control every aspect of your life, be it the clothes you wear, the people you meet, and even the food you eat. They try to isolate you from your family and friends, thus breaking your support system.
Compulsive liar
Sometimes, not telling the truth helps maintain a relationship. But it doesnʼt means you lie at the drop of a hat. When lying becomes compulsive it leads to toxicity.
Perfectionist
The person has expectations as high as the sky, which you would never be able to meet. Living with a partner who constantly nitpicks on you or nudges you to be perfect is difficult and discouraging.
SIGNS OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Arguments
Arguments are healthy but beyond a specific limit, they are not. If they become frequent and you refuse to agree on even minor issues, then it is a sign of your weakening
Jealousy
It can mar your otherwise happy marriage. If you are unhappy with your partner moving closely with their friends, or your partner is jealous of your career growth, it sows the seeds of bitterness.
Resentment
All of us have imperfections. But when you start disliking your partner for their every minor shortcoming, they will eventually resent you because nothing they do can please you anymore.
Sacrificing your happiness for your partner
You only want to see your partner happy; you go to great lengths to make him/her happy while ignoring your happiness. This can burn you out eventually. Your partner will continue to have high expectations of you, and you may find it hard to meet them.
You are not yourself
Change is good if it is for the better. But if you are losing your identity in this process or not being your usual self with your partner, then both of you should talk it out as to where you are heading in your relationship.
HOW TO GET OUT OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
When you are losing your self-respect, dignity, and peace of mind, then it is time to call it quits. Here are some ways to end a toxic relationship:
Donʼt wait for your partner to transform
If you decide to stay until your partner changes, you would perhaps wait indefinitely. And that makes your partner complacent. Unless your partner realizes their mistakes and is motivated to change, there may not be any hope in the relationship.
Take a break
Time is the best healer. When you take a break from your relationship, you give yourself some time to heal by resting your mind and body. You get a chance to introspect and know yourself. Take time to pursue your interests and hobbies. Do the things you used to love and begin enjoying your life.
Let go of your feelings for your partner
Letting go of someone you love and care about can be hard. You need to realize that if you are not getting anything in your relationship or if you are the only one who is working to fix things, then the relationship will never work. You just need to let go and open yourself to the possibilities the future holds. Good things are always in store.
Accept the reality
It will allow you to analyze your feelings and have clarity. It is not easy to walk out of a relationship, but you need to accept that it is going to be painful. You will be worried about a lot of things like your future, companionship and singleton life. It is going to be hard initially, but once you cross that stage, you will be relieved. Remember, nothing lasts forever.
Stop underrating yourself
Sometimes you get so entangled in a toxic relationship that you blame yourself for the situation. You might end up feeling low and
undeserving of a better person. Realize your value and the fact that you need to be loved and treated well in a relationship.
Tell them what you feel
Before you walk out of the relationship, let your partner know the reasons behind your decision. Tell them what you have gone through and how you feel. If the other person isnʼt sensitive enough to understand your plight, then you may have to be assertive and let them know that you are not going to tolerate their behaviour anymore.
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YaniiYan says
Better to have a good communication with your partner. 💜