Relationship & Boys: The Fear of Rejection
Many a time, lots of girls find themselves intertwined or in a situationship with a guy who keeps holding back on going further with whatever they have going on and this can be quite frustrating. Ever wondered why some guys are so scared of romantic relationships?
It’s obviously no news that, in this generation, a romantic relationship between a guy and a girl is the order of the day. Well, this is in contrast with the old generation who always pride themselves in announcing to all and sundry that in their time, dating was not done until you were ready for the next level; Marriage.
But in this contemporary time, dating is seen as an avenue to gain experience, to understand your opposite gender, so that indeed when you are ready for marriage, picking a perfect half would be very much easy.
Irrespective of this catching reason which seems to be responsible for the craze in the dating world, it’s still a wonder why most are still single. Most especially guys. Research facts show the avalanche presence of the female folks on the surface of the earth.
One would expect that a guy will definitely have no difficulty in having a relationship partner. However, this is not the case. What’s more? Some guys haven’t even dated ever. I mean zero dating experience. I mean, most guys have never asked a girl to be their girlfriend. Why? You might ask.
Why Guys Are Scared of Romantic Relationships?
There are a lot of reasons why most guys have decided not to give the dating experience a try. We shall itemize some of them out here:
He probably feels he doesn’t need it now as it will clash with his goals.
Most guys if not all feel that a relationship entails spending. This is collaborated by the norm in the society and the wrong stereotyping of the female folks. Thus, considering their current assets now, an average guy probably says ‘hell no’ to dating until they settle down later in life.
Most guys are shy to the extent that they cannot maintain an intimate conversation with a girl. I know right, it’s that bad.
Fear of Rejection etc.
There are a lot of reasons that hinder a guy from having a romantic relationship, however,, for this article, we shall lay our focus on the fear of rejection.
The Fear of Rejection: a deterring factor to most guys in giving a relationship a try
You’ll definitely say this is a stupid reason for one not to date. I mean what the hell right? Well, that’s the truth about most guys. They would be crushing (hitting) on a girl so bad but would not say a single word or act on such feelings. They would legit lock up. They would probably open up, after much pestering to their close friends and no matter, I mean no matter how much their gees try to encourage them to go for it, to make that move, they wouldn’t budge. Why? The fear of rejection.
Stupid or not, the fear of rejection is a pretty much serious phobia. Like how most persons can’t handle break up, most persons can’t handle being turned down.
This type of fear is referred to as anthropophobia – that is the fear of being judged or rejected by someone, and it is a fact that it has made a lot of guys turn their faces from dating.
Frank, a Nigerian teenager wrote to me: “omo, guy I no fit do this relationship thing oh. I no fit ask girl say she go just reject me. Tell me say I no be her type. I fit die”.
Most guys are like Frank; unable to ask because they are scared they would be outrightly rejected. What’s funny is that it’s not a result of ego but mostly because of low self-esteem. These guys don’t see themselves as the ‘spec’ of their crush. So, why try if you would be shut down with nothing but lowly and dejected feelings. Thus, for these guys, it’s preferable not to date or consider dating.
This, in turn, has a ton of negative impact on the social lifestyle of these guys which is characterized by sore loneliness and a host of other stuff. You are reading this and affirming everything. You are probably saying; “Damn. This is my table that they are shaking oh”. And you probably hoping that I would drop tips on how to overcome the fear of rejection and just go for it. Well, you are in luck. I shall just conclude by doing just that.
Tips on how to overcome the fear of rejection
Remember, rejection is nothing new under the sun. Most probably, every guy has been rejected at one point in time. So, accept it and move on.
Look for the lessons from the rejection; why you were rejected and all. This would aid you to work on yourself.
Always remind yourself of your worth. Constantly telling yourself that you are a spec and a beauty and that you drip glory comes in handy when overcoming the fear of rejection.
Face your fear head-on. If you run, the fear would gain more ground. So you have to face it by keeping an open mind as to how the reaction to your proposal might be.
Avoid negative self-talk that would drain your self-esteem.
Dating (relationship) is a beautiful experience if you are committed and ready to make it work, coupled with dating an amazing personality. Therefore, don’t deny yourself this experience because you are scared about how one girl would react to you asking her out. It’s very wrong oh. Make that bold step now.
Thanks for reading. Kindly leave your comments below and don’t forget to share.