Oral sex: Who is really at risk? | Why do women give more than they receive it?
Oral sex is a sexual activity that involves giving and receiving pleasure from your partner using your mouth and its related parts such as tongue, teeth, throat.
Once a taboo act, but now an act many couples either practice or want to indulge in. At the same time, there are others too who feel it is a disgusting way to give pleasure. This could pose a problem in some relationships.
There is nothing wrong with going down on your partner and giving him/her the orgasm of his/her life. It will only increase your bond and will also introduce some thrill in your sexual life.
Oral sex can be seen as a romantic way of expressing love for each other. It is a great way to get closer to someone and learn what turns each other on, but it does carry its own little risk though.
In a study that might not surprise many women, it turns out that there’s an ‘oral sex’ gap between the number of men receiving oral sex and not giving it back in return. This research indicates that “males are more likely than females to have received oral sex“.
Research also shows that straight women statistically have fewer orgasms than any other demographic, including lesbians. That might be because their partners aren’t putting enough effort into pleasing them, particularly when it comes to oral sex.
Does this mean men don’t want to go down on women?
What’s interesting about the finding is that more men than women—52 per cent versus 28 per cent—said that giving oral sex was “very pleasurable,” which might be comforting to women who are afraid to ask their partners to venture down south.
Going down on a woman isn’t rocket science, but far too many men shy away from reciprocating oral sex, leaving their partners to suffer the sad, orgasm-less consequences which are selfish considering they often demand it themselves.
This would make one ponder on the possible reasons behind why men tend to give oral sex far less than women do.
Some of these possible reasons include:
-Poor personal hygiene
-Fear of Oral-sex associated Risk
The fact that a good number of men and women find oral sex quite unpleasant shouldn’t be so surprising.
Like I mentioned earlier, there are others too who feel it is a disgusting way to give pleasure. In as much as, there are men who not only love but enjoy going down on their women. Some men just don’t enjoy it but can choose to do it if it is what pleases their woman.
Some people get turned on when they feel their spouse is being turned on by them. So in a case like this, if the woman is responding so much to oral sex, it can make the man want to continue (and vice versa).
If as a man you find going down on your woman very unpleasant, then what gives you the right to ask her to go down on you? What makes you think it is pleasant for her?
Poor personal hygiene
Although, other factors that could make your man find going down on you quite unpleasant would be poor personal hygiene.
Because, when it comes to private areas, it is quite easier to detect a woman with poor personal hygiene than a man, as women’s genitals need a little bit more attention, care and concern.
No man would want to go down on a dirty girl whose private area probably stink. So as a lady and also as a man(because most men don’t realize they stink too), learn to practice good personal hygiene. If you can both have your bath before and after sex, that would be much better.
Being anxious on the side of women happen to play its own very role. In research, Some women indicated that they would not be comfortable receiving oral sex from a partner unless they had just finished showering/bathing, due to feelings of self-consciousness about the way they smelled.
This self-consciousness interfered with/interferes with their ability to focus on their own pleasure and led to feelings of anxiety when receiving oral sex.
Maybe women are conditioned to feel more shame or anxiety around their genitals – an anxiety that the multi-million dollar feminine hygiene industry exploits.
Only when women are taught not to feel ashamed of their bodies – funny smells and all – can they start to enjoy the same sort of sex that men are already having.
Also, the feeling of not knowing if your partner likes it or just forcing himself to do it can bring about this self-consciousness and anxiety that makes women not being able to really focus on their pleasure or even find it so pleasurable.
Sex is a two-way street and it is always hotter when both parties find it equally pleasurable.
Fear of oral-sex associated risk
Report from a little proportion of the male population I happen to have spoken with claim that the man is at risk when he chooses to give oral sex.
This then brings me to ask the question “so a woman isn’t at risk when giving a blow job?“
These have brought about some controversies as well as arguments concerning oral sex as regards men and women which brings us to ask the question “Are there really risks?”, “Who is really at risk?”
Are there really risks?
Giving oral sex (blow job) to a man has been proven to carry some risk of getting some STIs or even HIV, although most scientists believe the risk is relatively low.
The risk increases if the person giving the blow job has any cuts or scrapes in his or her mouth, even small ones that can be caused by brushing or flossing right before sex.
To have safer oral sex, avoid getting any semen in your mouth, either by stopping oral sex before ejaculation or by using a non-spermicidal condom. You can use an oral barrier such as a dental dam or plastic wrap to make oral-anal sex (rimming) safer.
On the other hand, Giving oral sex to (going down on) a woman is also relatively low risk.
The possibility of infection is higher if there is menstrual blood, if the woman has another STD in addition to HIV, or if the person performing oral sex has sores or cuts in the mouth.
You can also use an oral barrier such as a dental dam or plastic wrap to make oral-vaginal sex (cunnilingus) or oral-anal sex (rimming) safer.
Experts believe that oral sex without protection is less risky than other kinds of sex, but all agree that there are possible risks regardless
Who is really at risk?
Research published in the Annals of Oncology was carried out by some scientists who wanted to know which groups were at risk the most.
The results stated that the risk of these oral cancers is low among people in the 20-69 age bracket but according to the paper, the figure doubled for men who had five or more oral sex partners during their lifetime and at 7.3 per cent, they were in the ‘medium risk’ category.
However, men aged 20-69 with 10 or more oral sex partners had a 14.4 per cent chance of getting oncogenic which causes tumours that develop oral HPV.
Among men who did not smoke, cancer-causing oral HPV was rare among everyone who had less than five oral sex partners, although the chances of having oral HPV infection did increase with the number of oral sexual partners, and with smoking
The lead author of the study, Amber D’Souza, said men are much more likely to contract the virus than women.
Mind you, men are more likely to than women doesn’t mean women don’t, because lots of men believe they are the only ones at risk and use this as an excuse to justify why they can’t go down on their woman but want their woman to go down on them.
“If you can’t give it, you shouldn’t ask for it“
I believe all of these contribute to the reasons why women give oral sex than they receive and also why an “orgasm gap” exists between men and women.
Maybe changing our expectations about who should give and receive pleasure is one crucial step toward combating it.
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