WHAT IS AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP?
An open relationship is all about having consensual non-monogamous relations, basically dating and seeing other people.
KINDS OF OPEN RELATIONSHIP
One category is the very honest kind where it’s all about telling the other partner about the experiences you’ve had.
And the other type of open relationship is a “Don’t Ask, Don’t tell” basically, it is the I’m out and about meeting other people kind of relationship. But we’ve still got something special between us.
I think there’s a really big argument to be made for open relationships. And that could be something like the way we are kind of created.
We know we’re built to be with other people yet we don’t need to own each other. And as soon as we say you need to be with just me, we’re kind of creating boundaries, and we’re preventing the free exchange and that can be a very limiting force in our lives.
And I completely understand that.
I also think that there are many successful open relationships out there. So if you’re one of them, let me know in the comments.
I’m still going to try to convince you. And if you’re thinking about an open relationship, it’s a bad idea.
11 SENSIBLE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT TRY AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP
The first reason not to enter an open relationship is communication. We know that one of the most crucial ingredients of successful relationships is the ability for two partners to communicate with each other to share their deeper hopes and dreams to share what’s going on in their life and to share all the little tidbits as well as the really important stuff.
Well, if you’re in an open relationship, you challenged the foundation of this essential ingredient of relationships, because you start to tell each other, all the different things that are happening in the relationships you have with other people.
And it does cut to the core of that vital element of relationships and makes it very difficult.
2. IT’S AN EXPERIMENT:
Often we’re in a relationship for a while, things get a little bit old, and Rusty. And we’re very tempted to bring the new into our lives because new is more variety.
But I think we should ask ourselves, what are we giving up? When we let go of the old often things take time to build.
And what you create with the new people coming into your life is much more fickle. It’s kind of like a house of cards, it can blow over with the wind.
Another reason why you shouldn’t enter into an open relationship is that sometimes you are not being honest about your true intentions.
I think in most of the cases with open relationships, it’s often one of the partners who want to explore that side of themselves. And it creates pressure on the other partner, to follow them and to sort of embrace the reasons that they’re giving.
Well, it’s really important, to be honest. when we’re not honest with ourselves about our true intentions, that creates a lot of bitterness down the line.
The fourth reason is that open relationships are time-consuming.
Who has time for one relationship anyway?
Do you have time to get involved? with another person, and not just the sex and all the great things that are going to happen but all of the emotional issues, discussing things, finding out what each other is doing with your lives, it’s time-consuming. And that can be quite a strain.
5. RISK OF STDs:
Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who’s out there with other people? And there are some problems out there, when we have sex with multiple people, we can catch STDs.
He/she is out with other people that you aren’t sure if they are having protective sex. Which puts you at risk.
6. THE FREEDOM ISN’T REAL:
Certainly, the desire for freedom is the primary driver for getting into an open relationship.
Well, once we take that step, and we have that freedom in our lives, we often realize that the freedoms aren’t entirely there in the first place.
Because even if the other person says that they’re fine with us going out and having a good time meeting other people when we see the hurt that can be created in the other person’s life, we realize that that freedom wasn’t there, to begin with.
Another good reason not to enter into an open relationship is jealousy? Jealousy is a reality that we all have to contend with.
And I think that a lot of people who advocate for open relationships would want to say well when you feel jealous, that’s an issue inside yourself for something that you need to look into and confront and get over your jealousy because you don’t own someone else.
Well, there’s a flip side to this. And that is jealousy is a wonderful emotion to experience, it shows that you care, you don’t want to be with another person and you don’t want them to be with anyone else.
And there’s something quite wonderful about having that very powerful desire to choose someone to say, I want to be with you, I want to create something with you.
We often run away from our jealousy. But actually, jealousy is something to be embraced. It’s there for a reason. It’s something we can trust. It shows us what we want.
8. YOU MIGHT NOT MEASURE UP:
Like we said before, the new in front of us is very tantalizing. It’s wonderful to experience new things. And often we run away with the emotion of it.
Well, if you do that with your partner, they’re going to meet someone else who’s going to be very inspiring, and they’ve got permission and boundaries of being there, where they can go off and meet all these new people.
It’s very difficult to always compete with the new and shiny things that present themselves in other people’s lives.
And the reality is you’re putting your relationship at risk by being so careless in getting rid of these kinds of boundaries. And it really can threaten the deep and intimate connection that you’ve built up over a long period. With that special someone.
9. RELATIONSHIP IS A LOVE THING:
You know already that relationships aren’t just about sex and all that kind of physical pleasure that we get from being with our partner regularly or meeting new people.
Love is something that builds over time, it’s a very deep and intimate connection. And when we’re with other people, we’re violating that sacred bond, that deep sense of love that we’ve created over time, even when we say that we’re okay with our partner being with someone else, yet we can still really connect with that love.
I think ultimately, that is what we are risking. We are risking the idea of true love.
10. AWKWARDNESS ABOUNDS:
It’s very difficult to be in a relationship with someone and people know that you’re with that special person. And you’re always out with other people and you end up bumping into your actual partner while you’re out with another person or you bump into mutual friends.
And people talk and it’s very difficult to avoid that awkwardness. And you may think that that’s just something to deal with. That’s something to embrace.
But it does add up over time and it cuts to the core of the foundation of whether you believe you’re doing the right thing for yourself and for your partner and when the awkwardness does stack up and it becomes very difficult.
11. IT CHEAPENS THE EFFECT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP:
Lastly, why you should reconsider getting into an open relationship is it cheapens the effect of your relationship.
It’s kind of like inflation of the economy when you spread your love too widely it means you’re often repeating the same gestures with other people you’re recycling those emotions and you’re realizing that you can duplicate what goes on in your love life.
And I think what that does is it dilutes what’s going on, it kind of makes it much less special that intimate bond that you’ve got with that one very important person in your life.
You should reconsider getting into an open relationship. Ultimately what it comes down to is the importance of commitment to the one person,
Every relationship has ups and downs so many people have made the mistake of falling into the trap of idealizing the perfect relationship that we try to move towards and when the current relationship falls short.
We look for ways to get out, and we often lack the courage to go to the person we’re with and say you know things aren’t going as well as we want them to go. And we want to work on it with them, or the courage to say “you know what? things aren’t going as well as I was hoping they would, it’s time for me to move on”.
I feel like the direction towards an open relationship is one that lacks a little bit of courage, because you’re not being honest with yourself, and honest with the person you’re with
It’s okay to break out with people, it’s okay to move on and to try new things, but to drag someone along with you as we go down that path is not an honorable thing to do.